I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
