I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize