I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
