What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
