I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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