just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
