you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
