Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
