He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
