im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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