Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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