i don't like sucking hair
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
