is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
