I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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