you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
