Kiss
Puke
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
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