I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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