Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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