I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
