i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
