We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
