We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
