When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize