I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
