The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
