I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
