areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize