I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
