THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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