my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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