i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
