Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
