im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
