I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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