He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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