It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
We need to rekindle our bromance
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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