I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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