Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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