I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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