Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
