The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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