If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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