I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
