There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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