yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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