Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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