Do you still have your period?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
