i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
he just fucked me for my cheese..
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
