guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
