I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
