so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm bleeding and have questions
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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