WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
