Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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