Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
