A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
