They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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