Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
