so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
