Tell her she can't have a vagina
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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