Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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