i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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