I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
