One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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