YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
