I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
